Seasons of Change

Time keeps moving forward and the changes that come along with this forward movement are inevitable.  For the last twelve years, I have been caring for and teaching small children, toddlers and babies.  The bulk of my focus and energy has revolved around people who rely heavily on me for their most basic needs in life.  I have enjoyed these past twelve years despite them being some of the most trying and challenging times I have ever experienced.  Spending my days pouring my love and attention into children who look to me for love, comfort, safety and knowledge is by far one of my life’s greatest achievements.  It seems though that my time for raising small children has come to an end.  My “baby” will turn seven this summer and every passing day he shows me that is no longer a “little one” but rather a growing boy who is striving to walk in the footprints his daddy is leaving for him.

I know that all five of my children still need me and look to me for love, comfort, safety and knowledge, but the way in which I give them these things have changed.  Instead of comforting a small child in my arm whose fears have overcome them, I now give my growing and grown children a hug and talk with them about how to face and overcome their fears.  My arms feel a little emptier these days yet my work is far from over.  This change that has slowly taken place leaves me a little sad and uncertain as well excited to see the plans God has for me moving forward.  Though there are still many years of child rearing ahead of me, the capacity in which my children need me is opening new possibilities for me as an individual.

I am now thinking about my future in a different light and seeing opportunities that several years ago seemed like distant dreams.  I am slowly gaining more time to focus on my own desires and goals.  This new-found freedom is causing a whirlwind of emotions within me as I try to seek Gods will through this new season of life.  I know that I have been called to stay at home with my children and to home school so I will continue to pursue those callings. However, as my children gain their independence I feel my calling is changing.  I am not sure what the change will look like or even how soon it will come but I can see it on the horizon.  As this season of change passes through my life I will allow my heart to be filled with the joys that come with a changing life.