I Crushed My Children’s Spirit

  I was listening to a man speak about the importance of not crushing a child’s spirit this morning before church.  He did not go in-depth on the topic and I was not brought to a point of conviction at that moment.  I did however walk away reflecting on how I might be crushing my children’s spirit.

I have discovered that my children look up to my husband and I and they have a strong desire to please us.  When they make mistakes and fall short of our expectations the way in which my husband and I respond will either help to grow them into confident young adults or crush their spirits and leave them feeling like they will never be able to live up to our expectations.

Sadly, I can look back and see that just in the last week when two of my children fell short of my expectations I crushed their spirits.  The kids were outside taking care of the animals as part of their morning chores.  Two them were supposed to be working together but one became bossy while the other became obstinate.   Their quarreling set me off and caused me to start ranting, in a rather loud voice.  I lost my cool and began to point out all of their mistakes from this incident as well as previous occasions and I threw out a few threats that were far from realistic.  As I looked at their faces I could see that I had passed the point of correction and rebuke, I was crushing their spirits.  I had to send them off to finish their chores while I cooled down, gathered my thoughts and fixed my attitude.

Looking back on this situation I can see that the children did need to be corrected but I could have done it in a way that helped them to become better people.  I could have refrained from pointing out their mistakes (both present and past), raising my voice and making threats.  I could have talked with them in a clam manner and helped them to see their individual mistakes for this specific incident and taught them how to correct their mistakes and move forward in unity to get the job done.  I missed an opportunity to grow my children into better people!

I am sure I will make many more mistakes in parenting my children but I need to strive to refrain from crushing their spirits.  All five of my children bring me great joy as I watch them grow and learn.  It is important that I take every opportunity I am given to help them grow into confident young adults and build them up in spirit.